


Punched by the Maker

by Vander38



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25874191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vander38/pseuds/Vander38
Summary: Skyhold often hosts serious intellectual debates on the nature of religion.This is not one of them.
Relationships: Female Cadash/Sera (Dragon Age), Female Inquisitor/Sera (Dragon Age)
Kudos: 7





	Punched by the Maker

Ah Skyhold.

For a fortress of war it is a peaceful place, there is a full tavern to drink in on long winter nights. A beautiful herb garden rich with the smells of healing herbs to sit in the mountain sun. A quiet room for reflection or prayer. A full stocked library if you do not mind the spiders.

A surprisingly peaceful place.

“What is it with you and stupid questions?!” Cassandra interrobangs towards Sera, punctuating each word with gestures.

Well normally it is peaceful.

“Stop deflecting and answer the bloody question and it’s not stupid your stupid!” Sera shouts back.

“Why are you asking?” Cassandra shouts in reply.

“Because you said I could ask theo, theologgy, any religious stuff!” Sera shouts back.

“It is hardly a serious theological inquiry!” Cassandra replies, visibly trying to calm herself down.

“But!” Sera begins, causing Cassandra to explode in anger.

“The! Maker! does! not! punch! Things!” Cassandra shouts, making the castle shake, the mountains tremble and the small children burst into tears.

“Then why did the bow suggest he does?” Sera shouts back.

“Marketing.” I deadpan from behind my book, but quietly, I would hate to interrupt the best thing to happen in a week.

“Because if the Maker did punch things, which he doesn’t, he would punch hard, like that bow.” Cassandra says, pinching the bridge of her nose and breathing in and out while counting to ten, following Josephine's advice about her blood pressure.

“How do you know the Maker doesn’t punch things?” Sera says.

“Because it has never been written anywhere that he does.” Cassandra replies, slightly more calm.

Maybe those breathing exercises work.

“But it hasn’t been written that he doesn’t.” Sera points out slyly.

“Just because it hasn’t been written that he doesn’t doesn’t mean that he does!” Cassandra shouts.

Maybe not.

I giggle, I can’t help it and I quickly sink back behind my book as both glare at me.

“So you’re saying that if I find something that says the Maker punches things then I am right and you are wrong.” Sera challenges.

“Very well if you can acquire a theological treatise that intimates that Maker engages in pugilism, then I shall concede that you are indeed correct in your assertions.” Cassandra says, shaking her head in a dismissive way.

Sera looks at her, slightly confused.

“Yes.” Cassandra clarifies with a sigh.

“Awesome sauce, don’t go anywhere.” Sera says, running off towards the library.

“But I have things to do.” Cassandra says in a small voice.

“She said to stay, so I recommend you stay.” I say from behind the book.

“How do you put up with her?” Cassandra asks in a tone of wonder.

“I direct her energy towards other people when she’s had too much coffee.” I reply evenly.

“Thanks for that.” Cassandra says with a scowl.

“You’re welcome.” I deadpan as I concentrate on the book.

Sera rushes back, clutching a large ancient tome that she slams down on a table with a cloud of dust and spiders that I quickly shuffle away from. She flicks through the book towards somewhere in the middle.

“There, read, read it, read it.” She says with puppy-like enthusiasm as she pushes Cassandra to the table.

Cassandra rolls her eyes then dutifully reads the passage.

“Did you write this yourself?” Cassandra asks doubtfully.

“No.” Sera replies in an innocent way.

“Really.” Cassandra states dubiously.

“Come on Cassy, I’m not like that, plus if it was me it would have had more butts.” Sera says rolling her eyes like only an annoyed teenager can.

I turn a page and can’t help but wonder how many times butts were mentioned in the passage.

“You see that bit under the stain with the faded pencil, talks about punching.” Sera says with a very obvious not smile on her face.

“That could say anything.” Cassandra says in a slightly dismissive way.

“Cassandra.” Sera begins.

“Not! Everything! Written! About! The! Maker! Is ! true!” Cassandra shouts in a violent explosion of noise.

There is a scandalised noise from various Chantry mothers around the courtyard.

“Some of it is metaphorical.” She says quickly and the mothers huddle up to debate that point.

“So there could be methy punching?” Sera asks with a smirk.

“I’m going to punch you in a minute!” Cassandra replies.

“Metaphorically or actually?” I deadpan into the book.

“Can you call her off now!” Cassandra pleads, addressing me directly.

“I’m having way too much fun to get involved.” I say and she scowls at my honesty and the grin on my face.

“You’re Andraste’s Herald, you speak for the bride of the Maker.” Cassandra points out.

“That’s still a matter of debate as I don’t believe in Andraste or the Maker.” I say and there is another scandalised noise from the Chantry Mothers and a loud thump as one of them faints in a very spectacular facefall.

“Malika!” Cassandra says in a warning way.

“Cassandra I swore I would use my powers for Thedas, not to help my adviser settle a debate with my girlfriend about the Maker punching things.” I say pointedly.

There’s something I never thought I would say.

Again.

“Buckles!” Sera says in an enticing way.

I know what she’s doing, and given the choice between Cassandra’s wrath and Sera’s affection I know what I would normally pick but I am having way too much fun.

“I think the evidence is ambiguous, you need to debate more.” I say, trying and failing to hide my smile.

I hide behind my book, cackling, as Cassandra makes an annoyed grunt and Sera throws a cherimoya at me.

I love being me sometimes.


End file.
